undisclosed

"Of the many contradictions that exist in the world, the contrast between love and hate is perhaps the starkest. It is one that helps us value true love while understanding the ramifications of hatred."
desires

"A life without love is like a sunless garden when the flowers are dead. The consciousness of loving and being loved brings a warmth and richness to life that nothing else can bring."
f1 at the PADDOCK.
Monday, September 29, 2008

F1 @ PADDOCK
wondering whr i went?
why 3 days not online?
i was at the paddock.
booming my ears off with the VRROOMMVROOM cars.
serving chi chi ppl that some are very nice.
I WENT TO F1!
was sick on 27 and 28.
i believe its becoz they made us walk in the rain and i caught a cold.
28 was the worst.
after lunch. stomach ache for that 4 to 5 hrs.
then finalli nt pain le.
i went to eat dinner.
then again.
stomach ache again.
was supposed to leave at 8pm everynight.
however, we are being requested to stay til the end of the f1 thingy.
some stayed coz of money.
some leave.
like me.
i couldnt take it and left early on the first two nights.
stil not enuff rest la.
and felt ultimate dying!
the third day was the best for me.
i wasnt slacking and was busy every minute of it.
i started all my nonsence with the ppl there and we all started bonding.
the reason why we bond coz we have common enemies ("FRIENDS")
yes.
and becoz we have more stuffs to bitch and complain about.
we went lunch and all together and started to talk more.
=) thats when i felt like a team.
and look.!
this is my team!
in RAFFLES ONEAND TWO!
the room without any complaints although there were some incidents.
the room with only compliments with the service provided.
even our ambassdor was proud of us.
its a nice experience although i wasnt very happy on the first day.
wasnt happi with the pay with the management and all.
despite all the complaining i stil couldnt get myself to love the job.
but i realised that.
money doesnt seem to matter anymore to me anymore once i got the feelin of working in a team.
seriously working with this team is fun and very fufiling.
u wouldnt feel alone and we would stick tog =)
and i can only say its a pity to only feel this at the last day.
when its all too late to hold on and not let go. im so glad i came and did not leave halfway.thanks team =) another page to my memory.
We even yam sheng after the whole event. =)
yes i love room raffles 1 and 2 =)the actual team. with the rp ppl.=) ah hwee. she is one of the RP ppl tat is really nice.
and sorry to admit but some are dammm XL.
seriously.
me and C cube
ME and ARVI!

Lucky got these h12 ppl =DD

they made me felt that im nt alone =D thnks eileen winnie and faezah =D


AND CHRIS! =DD
i got a feeling she a bit like winnie de lor.
random gal.
haha =)
but she's friendly!

after the third day.
someone treat us to supper lor =D
so me, terence, zihui and bliss went for supper at bugis macs.
we walked all the way there.
reached arund 2 plus.
then eat until 4 plus then take cab home.

the mac stuff were ultimate good.
when we complain their fries was not fresh and wat.
they just smiled and gave us a new set.
we requested for vegetarian stuffs.
they smiled and gave us their help and all.

i was impressed by their smiles.
impress at how friendly they could get.
so i got a feedback form from them and started to ask the rest to write stuffs about them.
they were happy and came over to thank us for our feedback.
=)

i think..
this is wat ssm have trained me to become.
more and more particular about service.
gd must compliment.
bad must complain =)

haha.
and did i mention that on the first day of the f1 thingy, i spill champaign on a customer's back.
the whole glass.
-.-"
was damm scared.
but they were really good and told me to cheers.
=)

other rooms had complaints.
ours dun althought there were many spillages.
i really think our customers are really very kind.
very nice.

ANDD
third day.
i did something STUPID!
i went to help those RP ppl to clear the table.
then i accidentally say shit softly and i happen to say it beside a customer ear.

so he turned back : "Did u just say shit?"
(o no! dead.)

ME: no =) i didnt! *face turned extreme red*

he: u sure? then wat did u just said?

me: no no i didnt say anything.

they realised my face was red and the whole table start laughing.
so i cont to clear.
then mr goh voice rang in my head: "SSM taught u guys hw to admit to ur mistakes"

ME: "sorry actually i did"
*everyone started laughing again*

He:" no no! its ok its ok!

then his friend said:" and he's not married"

0.0"
shocked and i smiled and walked away.
and that table happen to be in the middle.
so i when i wanna walk pass them.
i will walk damm fast.
refil also help ppl refil dun even dare go there.
omgmomg.

Mr goh please dun kill me.
at least i admit its my fault.
heh.





















lonely night.
Thursday, September 25, 2008

only now.
when the night is so quiet.
when the wind is blowing.
when i m listening to "stay with me"
when i m free.. to think..

i am missing you again.
i know its mission impossible 3 =)
therefore.
i will just contd to miss u like i used to do. =)









Anyways.
today mrning went to wk hus to kop some videos from him.
then watch kang xi lai le.
laugh til like mad.
then he went to my hus with me for dinner =)
then watch kang xi lai le again at night.
funny freaks.
=)

f1 job starts from fri onwards.
i haven even start and i feel sick of it.
its pathetically $6 per hour only k.
i so feel like backing out.
why did i even join in the first place.
waste time.
damm angry la.
then they everyting also so last minute.
expect us to be 24/7 la.
they can randomly sms us at 1pm saying that we have to collect unifrom btwn 12 to 7 today!
-.-" i recieved the msg on tue.
and i worked full shift that day.
i onli read the msg at 9pm can.
wtf.
its like.. ... -.-"
cummon la.
ppl have a life too u know.
-.-"

and then.
that time de briefing also.
tell us a few days before whereby ppl submit working schedule one wk in advance.
=.="
tell me where their brains is man.
like seriously la.
so damm f up.
work for them.
give so little pay and they demand so much.
and worst is that!
i heard from faezah that one person have to take care 3 tables.
one table 10 ppl.
du lan please.

-.-" u pay me $6 only and u expect me to do all these shit for u?
omg.
i seriously have better things to do.
omg.
i should have cleared all my doubts that time can.
omg.
im so damm angry please.
omg.
and believe me.
they need ppl like crazy i know.
so we mean gold to them.

freaking shits pcs of dumb ass.
kao.
damm angry when i say it out.

attachment..
Wednesday, September 24, 2008

im feeling ultra tired.
i have been suffering from lack of slp recently.
its noti dun wanna slp.
but i cant slp.

sbs.

anyways.
working at citilink..
er..
omg.
loads complains.
but at least time pass faster there.
and the good ting is..
i go there.
no need ppl guide.
all ownself settle.
zai sia.

and i know this gal from tp htm also.
yer 3.
she doin attachment at gelare.
for $600+ sia.

hmm.
i tot it was little.
but compare to her other friends.
its actuali a lot la.

if i were to get attachment frm gelare the pay cfm more than 600 de wat.
coz i find my own de.
but.
the biggest prob is.
do i wanna waste my attachment there first.
dunno.
give me suggestions ppl.
its a lil stupid right.
then the experience and the time wasted at there.

i think god reali bring me and fnb line in fate.
but i dun wanna do it if i have a choice la.
hai.

sian. :(

Milk powder shopping.
Tuesday, September 23, 2008


This is the craazy thing jimmy is into recently.
and he inspired me to draw too.
so the first pic is i draw de.
second one is he draw de.

ok.
o well.
dabo came back ytd.
and we went movieing today.
watched Mamamia!
=DDD
ultra super duper nice la dey.

=)
before that.
me and wk went to plaza sing to go buy his sister milk powder.
then..
i weent to get polo shirt for my bro.
=)
went to eat yoshi before that.
kns.
service like shit.

arh watever.
dun blame them.
dey din take the course HTM in TP wat.
tts why.
LOLS!
plus nv go through ssm.
hahahahhaa!
ok.
random.

anyways.
we took quite a long time in carrefour la.
-.-" thanks to wk's milk powder.
and the whole day we were laughing like non stop please.
some inside jokes like
replenish his milk.
angel pig.
and all sorts of stupid tings that made us so malu the whole day.
omggg.
but anyway.
tts wat makes it fun wat right?
=)

o dear.
tml gotta work at citylink gelare.
=(
its a total stranger place to me.
hope the ppl there wun kill me huh.

and.
dabo please recover soon.
if u're reali nt feeling ok..
please dun go training la dey.

movie was awesome. =)
everyting goes smoothly for me today.
and i m veryvery happi XD


k la.
miss everyone out there.
this week is gonna sucked badly coz the F1 tingy is in town.
omg.
shit.

but hey.
tats where the money rolls in right.
=(

in bus 167

eyes small =((











GEEKY TIME!
o ya.
and u did it once again.
without knowing

okies.
bye bye!



im back to who i was..
Monday, September 22, 2008

转了一圈。。
我又回到你的身旁守候着了。
Life has always been fair for me.
except this time round =)
but ..
i can still find happiness here and there.
at least.
for i believe.
=))
im feeling comfort now.
im content.
lesson learnt.
u nv know when u will die.
so start treasuring life like there's no tml.
itss easy to say.
hard to do.
everyone knows it =)

Fong Tsin Yin.

ocktober fest was ok la.

ppl there damm high one.
all germans.

hmm.
they reali differ from singaporeans sia.

=)
was tired.
but most of the time was slacking though.

this year best friend jimmy wasnt working.
so it wasnt as fun as last yer la.
but not bad la.
get to work with gwen, denise, rachal, jiayu, ivan,reuben,gary and yinying.

recently wasnt thinking too much also.
coz not much time to think.
=)
busy with other stuffs too.

DABO came back today!!
=DD
but she nt feeling well.
oman.
hope she rest well and can go with us for movie tml.
=(

just nw went jogging.
not even 20 mins and i m tired alrdy.
worst.
after 30 mins.
my knee starts to hurt.

shit sia.
dunno since when like tat.
then contd to run.

slacked dwnstairs a while.
then came back up again.

dad.
i m realli happy tat u are back with us again.
realli glad.
and i m even happier when i realised that ur attitude and temper changed.
when we lose ur tings or watever.
u used to flare at us.
now?
u stil can joke and smile at us.
i dun wanna know the reason to ur change.
coz i just wanna enjoy it now.
went supper with u on the second night of oktober fest.
was realli glad and thankful that despite how tired u are,
u came to fetch me too.
and also.
i realised tat being wif u now..
is just like how i used to enjoy ur company 10 years ago.
i rmb.
when i was pri 2.
i was in the hospital.
tat time i was damm bored there and u know it.
i went with u to 7-11.
u onli left with $10 i tink.
then..
i saw this board game.
u were having a headache then and wanted to buy panadol.
but u saw me looking at the game.
u didnt buy the panadol.
but u bought the game for me.
this scene i always remembered it.
until now.
10 years already.
i dun dream of it.
but its always in my mind.
this is the most memorable and touching memory i have with u.
and it onli reminds me that.
next time.
when u are old.
no matter how hard i have to work.
i will give u the money too.
but of coz..
with valid reason la.
i may have lost u for 10 yers.
but i promise.
the following 10 yers.
it wun be wasted.
if only u allow me to treasure it.
and u treasure it too.
i love u dad.
mum.
she is always the one whom hold us and brought us up to so big and tall.
i wun forget her too.
she may b harsh at times
but i know.
she loves us the most.
i wun complain anymore when u asked me for money.
i may be grumbling inside my heart.
but now i realli wun.
im on the road to being an individual.
on my road to supporting my family.
it takes off by not taking a single cent from my parents for allowance at all.
next.
like what i m doing now.
trying to earn more to give them watever i can.
for misc la.
not those big bucks kind.
but i m trying.
i will contd to try again.
i dun wanna die by 20 already.
i wanna support my whole family my life.
i will work and study hard.
get into U.
if i can and reality allows.
i will turn my direction to the military force.
if reality dun allow.
i will work hard.
and make sure i wil stand at the top.
so as to be able to give u good life and u will also be able to retire early.
esp mum.
u have worked hard enuff.
gimme 5 more years.
by 23.
when u are 55.
u wil be able to rely on me.
i promised.
tts what my life is for.
im reali stupid and childish to make a wish to die by 20.
but this yer.
i used all my wishes to abolish that wish.
hoping it wil work.
i love to be a "FONG" and i will always be one.

.
Sunday, September 21, 2008

我。。
已经学会看开了
=)

.
Thursday, September 18, 2008

woah.

off i go to oktober fest alrdy.

=(
hope i wil come back alive.

and the bad news.
after self sacrificing.
my manager decide to put me in citylink gelare.
o gosh.

i can feel the word B-O-R-E-D already.
=S

just hope the ppl there wun kill me.
and i hope tat they will all be as friendly as me!!!
hahahaha!!

im so jk.
=( but reali sia.
nvm.

lets just hope ok =))

and and and.

I MISS DABO!
PLEASE COME BACK SOON OK =))


please say u feel the same way as i do.
coz its stil hurting me.

and worst.
its either i think too much.
or is my 6 sentiment telling me..
you do miss me at times too.

.

i was strong. independent and confident.

and i shall remain being that.

decided and shal stick to it.

.
Wednesday, September 17, 2008

i cant believe myself.
i actualli wasted one day.
the clock is still ticking.
you're stil inside my mind.
perhaps.
its time i shuld open the door.
to let u out.
it reali hurts when the one u notice the most.
dun notice u.

.

This is wat sums up my life for the past few days.
=)
i met another gal named kim.
living in yishun.
age 19.
gemini too =))
o yes and surprisingly.
winnie has been playing bball with me these days.
omg.
based on her net ball skils.
she's powerful XD
anyways.
i bet winnie has lotsa fun la.
coz she keep saying we should comeout to play another day again.
=) haha.
then we played for the entire day.
from 11am to all the way till 9pm at night.
and..
yea.
non stop la.
then.
sun burnt.
-.-"the last time i got this experience is like sec 2?
omg.
please.
the pain is killing me.
=X
killing me like typically.
i cant change out of my jersey neither could i change into my shirt properly.
kao.
ESP shoulders.
and the good ting is.
winnie and jasline doesnt have the same prob.
they onli burnt their faces.
wapiang.
this sucks.

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ya la. look.
my face =X not reali burnt yet though.
kao.

.
Tuesday, September 16, 2008

当我每天睡醒时。。
我想的。。
只有你。。
每天回家时。。
开了电脑。。
想的也是你。。
当我自己在巴士上
向窗外看
想的也是你。
我有恨也有爱。
不知道我到底在想设么。
想要得到设么
想要拥有设么
想要你干涉么
想要我这么了
我讨厌
我恨
但我。
也不能控制
我对你的感受。
对不起啦。
我闯的祸。
我自己会解决。
对不起。
对你带来的困扰。

.

didnt slp well last night.
coz.
shoulder was burning.
when i wanted to turn.
i wil wake up and turn slooooooooooooowly.

sian.

maybe i m just another extra in ur life =)
u may nt even realised u have played an impt role in my life.
u may not even bothered.
but seriously.
u do to me.
every word.thing.time.place.

everyday.
even now.
im nt faithful larh.
i just cant bear to give up.

i hate myself.
coz of this.
i always live in my past.
and wil nv get out of it.
thats why..
everyting can nv lead to a happy ending for me.

therefore.
i know i prefer it this way.

.

im burnt.

.
Monday, September 15, 2008

身分地位的差距。
的确扮演了一个很重要的角色。

我不想打破我们两之间的默契,
也不想打散我们之间的回忆。

“我喜欢你。“
这四个字, 是永远都不能说出来的秘密。

stupid old freaks.



Some old pictures of us at k box.
i tink is arund last wk ba.
yup.

just nw went to cresent park with family and aunty cristine and jude.
we went to play candles and all lor.
then got this kp family.
knn.
come say wat we harming environment and all.
then i replied her " er.. miss. the tree dun die easily?"
she said she wil report us to the ministry of environment.
then i was like.
"er. ok =)"
siiiii beiiiiiii GL.
naaaahong.
damm shao xing please.
then my dad and bro go stare at them la.
coz they stare at us.
kao.
the whole park ppl also playing.
come di siao us for wat.
childish.
ya la.
u live condo la.
rich la.
big deal.
act chi chi nia.
kbkp.
sian.
i wil be taking a break off gelare for the moment.
self sacrfice =D
haha.
lets see hw ba.
i got million plans ahead.
its all decisions from nw on.
i will keep myself v v v v bz just to prevent from thinking of u.
but so far.
it havent worked.
perhaps its nt enuff.

.
Saturday, September 13, 2008

篮球火
i seriously hate this show.

coz it onli reminds me of the past.

i hate it.
i hate it.
pictures and scenes of it.

it all hurts

this sucks.

.

signs of failure of body system.

knee.
left ankle.
left arm.

everyting is spoiling.

fuck.

it seems unfair..

走了那么远
发现你不在身边
独自走过了什么
自己都不了解
未来的蓝图应该有你
不该只剩鞠
只是偶尔泪流不停
坚强的理由
只是自己骗自己
你眼中的恐惧
说什么都多余
付出的一切值不值得
永远不会有答案
只有天知道我有多么爱你
一颗心属于一个人
在爱情里什么算公平
爱得深也伤的深
是不是罪免了自己
一颗心属于我自己
爱情里找不到公平
而当你最后选择了逃避
我学会不公平
本来就不公平

wat hurts the most was being so close.

.



how i just wished i could tell u how much i liked u.
i reali wished.

.

was talkin to bella and liwen today.
yeah. had fun making fun of them
and best part is bella finally laughed after so mani days.
i laughed.
but i was thinking about my own stuffs the whole nite.
no matter hw busy i keep myself with.
i still couldnt stop thinking.
its not i dun wanna stop.
i wanna stop.
its just it wun allow me to.
my smile is as fake as ever.
i m tired.
tired of keeping myself busy but at the same time stil tinking.
im tired.
i couldnt slp well everyday.
i couldnt do things properly.
*i knocked my head when i m scooping ice cream.*
* hit my pinkie when i opened the fridge*
*keep dropping stuffs*
for Bella.
at least she know that its over.
she stil have a new chance all over again.
for liwen.
at least she know wat she wants.
for me?
i was the adviser.
i was the listener.
but i myself wanna say.
but i dunno how to express everything in words.
its too complicated.
i tried means and way to stop thinking. to avoid.
all of which goes into drain.
i wun give up.
coz i know its impossible to give up.
the first to make me hold on.
and make me think that everyting is worth while.
second to make me feel heartbreak.
im feeling so horrible that no amt of tears can make up to it.
feeling so bad that i m sick of crying.
i dunno why m i so emo.
but.
today.
when everyone's laughing.
im crying deep inside.

but this way is better.
at least.
i know.
thats the best for u.
and.
me.

i know all these are retribution.
coz i can see images of past replaying.
non stop.
rewind-play-rewind-play.
god wants me to feel how others used to feel in the past.
he wants me to learn to make decision not for myself.
but as well as others.
he made my life full of ups and dwns.
deep inside.
im worst than any of u.

.
Friday, September 12, 2008

why must it always result in the same way.
haha. its so damm comical.
i wish i could leave this torturous world.
i once made a wish to die before 20.
2010.
the yer where my time would be up.
i regretted it.
and i wish this wish would be off.
i mustnt be selfish anymore.
coz i m nt living for myself.
but for my family. my friends.
and u.
shits man.
seriously.
im kinda disappointed.
for cause i hoped too much of the impossibility.
im sad.
coz everyting wasnt wat it was.
wat was right in front of me.
looked so far.
now everyting is easier for me.
coz i dun get to see u too often.

h12 bbq.

h12 bbq. =) on tue =) right after coming back from KL!

need not to be wordy about it.
coz it just spells F-U-N
=))
of coz wat.
must see the organiser is who.

LOL! playing gameee =))
eugene kena forfeit.
forfeit. satay sauce plus coke
bbq =DD
o yes! it was my clever idea to make the fire started.
but of coz.
reuben's smart hands la.
lols!

hahaa. i know its bad la.
but we ask this person to help take foto for us.
then he..
say one two. zhee.
then we started laughing
LOL

=DD the gays.

the zha bos

faezah. me. winnie. yinying. tracy





















it just spells fun la =DD
then when we went home.
me winnie faezah cabbed home with reuben.
i drop off at vista with faezah then walked hm.
taxi uncle veriii veriiii funny please.
he crap with reuben in the beginning.
then when reuben dropped.
he crapped with me.
wakaaooo.
hahah. seriously.
*pei fu *
and h12!
thanks for those who turned up =DDD
*claps*