undisclosed

"Of the many contradictions that exist in the world, the contrast between love and hate is perhaps the starkest. It is one that helps us value true love while understanding the ramifications of hatred."
desires

"A life without love is like a sunless garden when the flowers are dead. The consciousness of loving and being loved brings a warmth and richness to life that nothing else can bring."
daddy. i luv u.
Monday, June 30, 2008

ytd.
my dad finalli came home and he stay.

very wierd though.
i didnt talk much to him.
until arund 1 plus?
he woke up and saw me the onli one alone and walked up to me.
asking me hw am i and other stufs.

i was..
how to say.
i wanted to run over.
say hw much i missed him and such.
but i just couldnt.
i looked to the com and instead talked to him back facing back.

we're like total strangers.

my sis was afraid my mum wanted to move out to the music room to slp instead of slping with him.
but mum didnt.

today when my mum drive me home.
we were talking in the car...

she told me hw the past is sooo meaningful to her.
she tell me something that makes me kinda touched.

mum: " i have nv regretted marrying ur dad.. if i have another chance, i will definately marry him again..i still love him .."

after all those hurt?
i wanted to let dad know hw much mum loves him..
but me myself couldnt let him know hw i feel.
i feel the love btwn my mum n dad is strong..
just tat they dun tell each other.
i can feel the hurt in my mum.
i can tink about hw my mum used to cry in the night.

mum: " at least he gave me u 3..."
=(
so guilty..

hai.

love wil last til the day we will die.
and after we die..
where wil our love go to?
we will forget each other.

what the heck is true love for anyway?

to experience the pain? joy? happiness? excitement?
experience hw long?
after tat?

i have no idea wat am i bringing myself into.
i just cont walking.
without looking, as usual..
banging into walls or pillars without feeling the pain.
or lets say..
numb.
tts why i cant feel it.

mum. dad.
i love u both.
but dad. sometimes.
we realli need u..
and when we need u..
whr were u..

mum's staying strong.
but i know she is realli sad and vulnerable.
hw can i make u understand that she needs u more than any1 else?

i hope u will stable dwn seriously.
and lets say.
hope.. u wil change someday.
to be the father tat we once had.
stay at home, watch tv with us, cook, see fish.

i dun wan u to be a stranger to all of us in like 5-10 yrs time.
=(

P.S this doesnt mean i wun kill the person if i see her with u.
im stil angry.
angry with her for being such a bitch.
seriously.
if she ever reads this.
WATCH OUT.
im so not good to SOME AUNTIES.


the tv recently show this short film about a daughter and her dad.
touching.
it reminds me of u and me .
when i was a kid.

PAIN.

Pain is the word used to describe wonderous tings u cant explain..

Sayos.

May the peace of the lord always b with u..

*So old sch.
rmb when CHR ppl used to say this with pastor John.
O GODS!
i tink i missed hw he used to make us slp during mrning assemblies. *

HEH.

there are so mani tings i wanna say but yet cant.
nt coz my mouth is chopped off.
ya.
but.

o wells.
its gonna b over soon yea.
^^

ni zai bu zai.
Sunday, June 29, 2008

i dint wanted to tink too much.
but its beyond my control.
but believe me.
when time comes.
everyting wil b over in just a blink of the eye.
-insecured-
was walking home today after late meeting.
finished about 1245?
dunno hw i feel.
just walked home moody, alone.
look at the starry starry sky.
they are all lookin at me.
tellin me secrets.
i have no ans to the question i ask myself today.
whether its true or not.
*shrugged*
whr are all the promises i once had?
the promises i once gave?
the words i once said?
everyting's gone.
in a blink of an eye.
it cause of me that made me lost everyting.
so i can blame no one.
but myself.
我每一片的小小心块
都在我手中失去了他的意义
i heard ppl say.
人是半个圆,在生命中就会遇到另一个圆, 才会完美。
但有时, 半个圆会分出一小块给对方, 对方也偶尔会回你一块。
如果被拒绝, 那半个圆是会永远缺少一块。
付出的永远收不回。
爱情的缺陷由回忆来弥补, 缺陷的痕迹有时间来淡化。 痕迹的消失由你遇见的另一个圆开始。
if i nv knew u..
perhaps.
my heart would be perfect.
retribution.

.
Friday, June 27, 2008

dunno is fate or wat.
everytime when i am on the verge of giving up on my fave sports.
tings pulled me back.

today was actualli tired at first.
then suddenly wake up for dunno wat reason.
and when i look up to the tv in front of me..
i saw this interview of this basketballer from singapore national team.
although she DOESNT inspire me alot.
but she reminded me of my love for the sport.

so wat now?
im lost.
as usual..
again..


AND PPL KEEP SAYING ME FAT!
ANGRY!
EILEEN!
:@:@:@:@

saw the news as well.
i realli freakin hate the T*r*or*st please.
can they stop doing things to destroy mankinds' life?

they seriously have nth better to do ok.
cummon.
u guys are realli selfish to just think for yourself.
i cant imagine if another incident happens again.

i wanna do my part to help to bring these ppl to justice.
but i just cant.

they seriously should just get a life man.
stop doin childish stuffs.

was angry when i alighted the bus today.
coz i keep thinking about the stuffs shown in news.
LOLS.

coz i realli cant imagine myself just dying off from the world without knnowing wat reason.
and the worst thing is that.

i nv have a chance to let my loved ones know hw much i loved them.
i wanna spend more time with my family and loved ones.

seriously.
i just cant imagine.

.
Saturday, June 21, 2008

why is it so?

im sorry
perhaps ther are better ppl out thr for u.

i just dunno hw to expreess my feelings nw.
i panicked.
i waited.
and i missed.

all these are so first time.
and all these nv returned.
have nv felt like this before.

.

sorry.

fate just doesnt bring us together..

.
Friday, June 20, 2008

i dunno why m i stuck at tis pt of time.

i dunno why isit u.

i dunno why..

15 june.
Thursday, June 19, 2008




















This is wat i do for FNB heros.
=D

.
Wednesday, June 18, 2008

jing was asking me.
hw long do u tink u can love someone?

this made me think quite long.
i said.
it depends.

and she asked.
do u tink there is eternal love.

i said. no.

she asked.
then why do u wanna choose to love in the first place.

i said.
everyting will end no matter wat.
after u die.
u wil forget everyting.
its the process.

so dun try change it.

she said.
im strong.
not like her..
she dun dare to love anymore after her bf left her.

den i was tinking on my way home.
i tot i dun used to believe in love.
wat made me do so?

Singaporeans really dun take love for true rite..
they change lovers as though they change their shirts.

i dun reali know.
and i dun wanna know.

future seems very far away from me nw..

this topic very random..
but.
it touches deep down in ur heart.

how long can your love be?

Happy 18th bdae kimBO!.
Tuesday, June 17, 2008

On the 14 June.
They surprised me..
After closing!
LOLS..
YA. i actualli supposed to work till 9pm..
then Yentung ask me stay back.
was very very very sad at first.
coz the next day have to report at TCA at 9am..
thennn.
who knows.
i helped them do closing.
ThenTHEN!
bella liwen and the rest came over to celeb for me..
FREAKIN TOUCHED K!
omgg.
thanks ppl.
LOOK AT US!
we are a small crew.
but yet.
a happy family.
Love u guys a lot.!
thanks !
i reali appreciate it!! =D
After everyting^^^
Bella.Jing.Liwen.Me
Me and my darling manager BELLA! =DD
seriously.!
u dunno hw much i love her!!! =DD

WHOLE CREW TAKEN WITH THE HELP OF SINGTEL CREW




HAHAHA!~
15june-
Woke up late.
630am.
rushed out at 730!
but finish bunning hair and stuffs..
REPORT TO TCA.
omggomggg.. im so excited on thur's show =D
YAYA.
and then we went over.. met miaohong.kherming. jesser and lynette OOO! AND YUYI!
haha =D
then help out in stuffs.
too long to narrate.
haha.
then met ppl like desmond koh. michelle chia. chow chor ming. zheng ger ping. darren chew. adrian pang and one more :D:D
then took loads photos with them.=)
will upload when i recieve if from desmond koh and mr tan =D
o ya.
mr malik is so nice tht he ill treats me after knowin its my bdae today.
THANKS TO MIAOHONG~
hha. thanks to u guys.
JEsser. Kherming.Miaohong.lynettt. yuyi. mr malik and mr tan =D
haha..
bdae wil b memorable =D
i swear.
THEY ARE NICE PPL TO WORK WITH K!
i soo enjoy my time with them =D
mr tan so gd too!
bbuy us carrot cake.
hah.
but we starved from 9am to 4pm nv eat
=((
no time..
haha..
then i went home.
slpt on 168. almost miss my stop k!
omgg.
i dun wan to slp all the way to inter n uncle call me wake up again !
haha.
then i went home.
was wondering why my mama keep ushering me to slp..
i was like -.-"
hair still wet.. i eat tis and tat first.
haha..
then finalli.
i was reluctant to slp at first. wanna see wat they up to.
OMG.
i dunno why i slpt.
then
1/2 and hour later. ...
(SO MEAN! ASK ME SLP THEN CALL ME WAKE UP AGAIN)
.........
.........
........
they pulled me out.
saying wanna bring me to dinner liao..
then who knows!
WAKAO!
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


ITS A 2KG BASKETBALL CAKE THAT LOOKS LIKE ESPLANDE FROM THE SIDE!
and gosh.
look at me.
just woke up.
can see??happi bdae to meeee~
then they sing.
i wished.
and i blowed!
My best mama i can ever have.
without her.
seriously.
there isnt me..
i m seriously touched to death.
i love her realli realli too much
that no words i can use to describe.!
Me and dearest naughty boy boy =D
we always have to pick and fight on each other.
but there are swt and loving times too =)
i love him coz i tink that he is realli mature at times.
can help me kill ants and stuffs.
i realli realli love my bro loads too.
without him.
there wun b me too.
i used to b very fierce towards him.
but now..
i realli love talkin to him nicely and loving him.
doting him like nobody's business.
love him loads. and MEIMEI~!
i loveee her!
she always camwhore with me =DD
we both look a like when we were young.
haha.
i reali wished we could b twin
but its ok!
with her as a sister.
i can ask for nth else!
seriously!
she is the one who caryy my 2kg cake come back for me!
im so happi.
she say everyone looked at her when she was crossing the streets.
haha!!

Auntie theresa!

thanks for the lovely and swt card u gave me!
love love love!
thanks for always helping me with my stuffs!
u are realli swt and hardworking.
god will bless u for sure !
good luck and i loveeeee u too!!!!!!!!

Tell me.. what am i without them? Females! I LOVE THE FONG PPL! and ... FONG TAITAI! (MY MAMA)
MY LOVELY CAKE!

the best cake ever..
SERIOUSLY MAN!
ITS THE FIRST TIME!!!
IN SO MANY YERS!

MY CAKE"S SO BIG!

then we go KFC..
i love simple and normal meals.
coz thats soo me..

one no need to b rich to b fortunate.
so everyting would b perfect with the right company.
with them..

everyting will b nice no matter wat.
i realli love them. =D







16 June-
today went out with h12 outing.
OMOMG!

they also celeb for me :'(
so touched can.
almost cried.
omgg.
they bought secret recipe cake for me.
a slice of mango cake =DD
nice!!!
i fed everyone.
OMG.
its reali reali great to have u guys.

we wanted movie at first
but cant.
coz time slots no movie nice..
:(
mf me and eileen was sad.
jerry wanted to watch KFP
but i watching with parents tml =(
sry jerry!

then then.
mingfang bestie treated me to icecream!
B&J icecream!
love herrr simply!
when i got thos photos i wil post it up man.! =D
love everyone from h12!
including those whom nv come. =DD

love all!


Thanks to those ppl who wished me.

h12: WINNIE! JUZ! GWEN YY SARAH MF! STEFFI EILEEN! REUBEN! IVAN! JERRY! FAEZAH RACHEL!

Gelare: RAY! JING!BELLA! YENTUNG! Ken! BX! LIWEN! JACK!

2h05: KAH YUEN! LIMING! MAD! YUYI! ZHAT! MX!

TP:YONGSHERN! MING! WEIKIANG! MIAOHONG! LYNETT! KHERMING! MR TAN! MR MALK! JESSER! JOYCELYN BIYIN! SULIN! JIAHUAN! JASMINE! CANDY!

CHR: WK! DABO!AHMA!LIN!MIN! BEN! TECKYI!JASON PEH! STELLA! SAMANTHA! SHITONG!XINFANG! AMELIA! HUISHAN! ARUN!

Pri sch friends:GERI! DERRICK! EDRIC TAN!

Friendster:HAFIZ? T2 (KOR!) MONKEY! WARREN! RENNE!

TP BBALL: CEL! Ying CHIEN! SHUPING! JAS

SERIOUSLY!
THANKS PPL!
YOU MADE MY DAY!


i used to have a wish.
to live onli up to 20 yers.
now.
i use my wish today to demolish/ take away that wish away.
i want to be guai to my family.
i wanna give them a nice life.
they are my everyting.

although dad,
you nv kept ur promise.
u nv came back.
but i stil lovedd u.
coz i know you must have ur reasons.
if not.
it must be i m nt guai.
or i m not good enuff to give u a reason to come home to celeb my bdae with me.
even fathers day.
i m missing u everyday.

hope u will know.
one day.















happi 18th bdae (advance).
Saturday, June 14, 2008

ITS TONIGHT!!

i just somehw tink about tml and hw to celeb.
=S

was feeling very sian.
i tink all i wan is to stay at home with my mum and etc..

just a dinner will do.
im so tired that i want to forgo this 18th bdae.
hw impt it may be.
im just to tired to handle.
this yer isnt a good yer.
i just wanna walk through it.
next yer i wil celeb ..

celeb that i have passed throught the 18th yer of unhappiness.

next yer wil be better.
i wished.
i hoped.
and it will.


money money come to me.
so all my family wishes will come true.
=)

i wan EVERYTING!

haha!

.

o0!

wat a shock today.

=( damm irritated.


good byes.

我不会。。也不想。。.
Friday, June 13, 2008

今天。。
又不知不觉的想起你。。
看见我们以前一起分享过的星星。。
一起躺过的游乐场。
一起坐过的椅子。。
一起听过的歌。。
一起说过的话。。
一起流过的眼泪。。
那时的我们。。
其实都已知道结果会是这样。。
可是。。
我们还是挑战了命运。
现在。。
我已经不再强迫了。
要来的。。
我相信。。
一定会来的。。
不管怎么想改变。。
都不会有用的。。

我已不想再次相信。。
这些。。。
已足够了。。

Jude!.
Thursday, June 12, 2008









Jude!
Baby sitting him at home now.
haa..
ZHEN MA FAN!
=) but he's cute though.
=D





the stars.


Went proj meeting today.

=D reached sch at arund 11am i tink..
then do proj lor.

MAD and LIMING and ZHAT gave me a surprise by buying me lots of tidbits for my bdae =DD

so happi!
O YES AND A CARD!

=DD
LOVE U GUYS LOADS!
haa. i didnt expect it de =D
o wells.

=)
i hope our tto will go and come back smoothly.
LETS CHIONG GRPMATES!

After that.
i meet reuben to report for work at stadium.

LOLS

damm cui.
was realli tired though.
then went to work.

SIAO.
me, and miaohong went so high.
then we started playing guessing games in the middle of the place when there is no body.
then whoever come we disturb who.

LOLS.

seriously.
crazy gal.



haa.

hai me ming yu suen huai.
kns!
throw face.
but was real happy todae =DD



but real tired.
reached home arund 1245 alrdy =(
lucky take mrt.

if take bus..
omggg.
120 then reach home lor...

=.="



=(
tml working =(



so chiong rite?
i seem to work everyday.
haa.
ya lor.

=S



ok tatas~



------------------------------

When i looked at the sky today when i was walking home..
i look up and stared at the stars.
They blinked at me.
Telling me to forget the past.
forget the tings we used to share.



u were the onli love that leave this for me.
i guess..



but we werent wat we wanted.
its supposed to b a play.

who knows.

now everytime i look up at night.
i will tink of u.

tats mean of u.
to make me suffer like that.



tts retribution..

gelare waffle day. 3 praises. 1 complain.
Wednesday, June 11, 2008

This shows "im nth at all"



Today went working.
Gelare waffle day.
1/2 price waffle.
i knew today would b a stressed up day.
but overall stil ok la.
was supposed to work from 11-3..
then kena extend till closing
=(

haiz. sians..

actualli got a complain today.
saying waffle very slow.
i was the cashier at first.
and when i have the time to go out and seek for feedback for the orders.
then i realised there is tis guy whom waited for 20 mins and have nt gt his order.
hai.

ok lor.
then again.
i;ve got to take in as my fault although i know it isnt.
i always hate it when i got to swallow down.

hmm.

at night was cool =D
i was runner coz i got no post.
then i was running arund. haa!
helping every body whom needed help.
LOLS.
then i gave a few feedback cards for customer to fill in.
OMG.
all of them wrote praises for me XD
so happi.
LOLS.
there.
always looking out for tis kinda ppl whom wil make my day =D
LOLS.

ya. then celeb yen tung's bdae =D
HAPPI BDAE YENTUNG!
happi 21st!
hope u wil enjoy ur year and grow up!!!!
=DD

then cls liao then eat cake and all those stuffs again lor.
LOLS.
soooooo fat alrdy.
~.~
extremely tired.
waffle day can kill.
seriously lor.
i keep running like dunno wat shit.
o wells.
haa.

=( u meet the wrong person at the right time. its a waste.
you meet the rite person at the wrong time. Its too late.
you meet the rite person at the rite time. Treasure it.

too bad.
i dunno wic state i m nw.

duno y.
i feel transparent to u.

.
Tuesday, June 10, 2008

eee.

i dunno why.
its the first time ever i m doin such tings.

o gods.
tell me why.

18th bdae =D.
Sunday, June 08, 2008




O GOSH!
its onli a wk before my bdae n my beloved BFF celebrated for me =)
and this goes the story.
I met them at cineleisure..
they were eating longg johnn silverss.
=D
THEN.
they told me they wanted my face to eat the cake first.
so ask me choose a place.
and thanks to ah ma.
we went to summerset mrt station.. (near skater's park)
there the toilet isss sooo dammm ZHAN!
clean dao...
=D
she is my savior.
then then..








So swt of them to help me prep stuffs. =D
Wengking (black), Ah ma (greenish grey), Hueymin (white), Dabo (BLUE!), Linen (grey)
Sang song..
then the longan keep dropping.
LOL!
then i cut the cake =DD
purposely cut into 6 so got no left overs.
but who knows.
some of them couldnt finish and put it back in again.!
!!
then..
i took so much time to look for the hidden cranberry inside the cake.
and it resulted this:

=( deads.
pimples gonna come out le lor.
@$#%^%&#
Then we proceeded to bedok to makan. =)
I was realli happy and contented with the stuffs i eat =D
coz it reali feels like home..
im sooo not willing to spend so much of their money again just to eat in air con places.
High class places or even restaurants are so NOT for me please.
=)
once in a while its ok =)
but for birthdays?
NO!
we ate. Stingray, chicken wings, ba chor mee and satay if i m nt wrong =D
haa.
meatballs loves!
SWEETS!
actually what u eating is not impt.
the impt factor is who u are eating with.
and the fact is that i m eating with my best buddies.
tts why everyting is soo nice =D
even the rained cake taste good too =)
Before that!
in the train.
There is this newly POPPED up scandals =DD
i know u guys wannnteddd to b like this long time ago =D
now i grant u ur wishes.


Lovely small heads

wk: EH!
Dabo: who cares.
Dabo: ok la ok la! take all u wan la! !!

Sweetest couple on earth.

Vote for them =D


The 3 of them dun wan take photo.
until i bluff them i m taking with them.
in the end.
i hid behind ah ma =DDD
KEKEKE.
ok. the threesomeee
=D

Me and wk

this is taken at bedok when im tryin very hard to take a photo with dabo.

SEE extra wk's hand.
Nw the head come out.
nw the tongue.
nw dabo is nt ready! =(
FINALLY!
tired can please. take one photo only leh.

Maggi min and me =) i miss her.!
AH MA OCY and me =DD she didnt want to take this at first.
me and linlin.


NEXT STOP!

IKEA!








Dabo was condemm coz she too EXTRA! haha!




So she took refugee from hueymin =D


This is waht dabo and wk gave me =D
LOVES to hells.
=)
thanks bestie.
i reali appreciates it!
and its nice although its PINK!
#%@^@#@^#&
if u cant see.
its actualli hp stripe handmade kinda.
with our names =D

SEE! i told u she was being condemmed~

then wk and min go over coz they pited her =D

magi's laughing at wk's face.

LOLs

AH MA AND LIN sitting another corner.

emoing LOLS

BEST FRIENDS FOREVER SHOTS!
Look at what we wear on our feet.
Our bear's skin colour
and also.
then things that they gave me =D





Told u they emoing =D

this is prove!







ok la ok la.
sweet enuff alrdy k ..OMG

then i was jealous.

who knows. maggi was jealous too?!

XD another threesome =D
WE FINALLY WAITED FOR ONE STRANGER TO TAKE PHOTO FOR US =D


wk took this









USING FRONT CAMERA of N73

















Its always these little small actions that made my day.
Although knowing that u guys will celeb my bdae for me
i was still suprised in a way.
O YES!
u know what we do at IKEA?
the 4 ladies..
nt including me.
one of them was holding my present.
and i had to find them.
they are supposed to walk arund ikea.
OMG.
wk was walking with me.
then i was chasing them one by one.
WAKAO
tiredss k.
haa.
i found hueymin and linen first.
den they had to give me a task everytime i find each of them before i can ask them if they are holding my present.
First was lin en and magi
then lin en held me and let magi run.
-.-"
so i was like..
SHIT.
present with magi.
then she challenge me to use one hand to hold this "extremely heavy pan"
hold for 5 secs
=.="
i tink they forgot i m a basketballer.
haa!
then i did it.
they say they cant do it -.-"
it wasnt very heavy wat.
HAHA.!
then then.
was running looking for hueymin.
-.-"
she damm funi.
stand at one place and thinks that we cant see her.
she tink she smal enuff to camoflauge.
-.-"
ahaaa!!
i saw her 3 times.
its just that she keep running.
k lor.
then she challenge me to..
kiss the lamp!!
WAT THE.
got ppl lookin also lor.
then in the end i ended up kissing the price tags.
-.-"
eeW.
and its nt with her.
i tink she must have passed it to others le la.
LOLS.
next was ah ma.
-.-"
damm lame!
haa.
she ran and ran.
but she running arund me.
-.-"
so i just walked .
and caught her.
HAA!
then she dunno wan me do wat.
then wk suggest me to use 3 floor mats to cover myself.
OMG. plz.
so mani ppl.
then in the end.
they gave in and let me just lie on this pile of floor mats.
STINKS!
but very comfy =D
LAST was dabo.
-.-"
she was just standing behind me and i walked tht place for more then 3 times.
ALL OF THEM LAUGHED AT ME!
wat the.
no man.
DABO!
this shows that u are not tall enuff.
haha!!
if nt why cant i see u?
LOLS!!
YES.
these were the friends that accompanied me all the way for 4 yers.
these were the ppl with me .
at least i know when i m telling my stories of stuffs.
they were the one whom i can confidently confide into
without fear of them telling out.
PPL.
thanks so much for making my 18th bdae so special.
i have nv ran in ikea and walked so mani times so long before.
i have nv went to bedok blk dunno wat to eat before.
i have nv been cake smashed at MRT before.
in front of so mani ppl summore.
i have nv recieved such expensive (1) gift before.
these are all the tings i enjoyed during my 18th bdae.
was real glad that they were there for me.
was real glad tat we had fun.
and last of all.
we were real tired when we got home.
tat showed that we fully utilised this day =D
I love u guys.
o yes!
u know what they bought for me?
HAHA!
new urban male's top =)
that i wanted like 2 yers ago?
=DD
and i finali got it =)
blue one.
ARGENTINA =)
i wil post the pic as soon as i take it =D
haaa.
i love it =)
its so ex can.
thanks guys!
LOVES MANY MANY.